Never did I think...

I have always been a person that accepted my situation as being "it is, what it is". Thus, I was gaining weight and my overall attitude deteriorated. I wasn't a very good father or husband or person for the most part. What was sad, is never did I think I would change anything and I accepted my fate. I hit my lowest point 2 different times this year and it took these moments to invoke change.

I have always been a hard person emotionally to deal with. I am very closed off and difficult to get express my thoughts and my emotions. I always believed that leaving things bottled up and letting it eat away at my soul was fine. In January of this year I have my first "awakening".

I stepped on the scale in my home upon returning from our annual training trip to Florida and I discovered something shocking, not only did I weight 250 lbs but my size 36 inch waist pants didn't fit! I knew at the rate I was going, I'd be a prime candidate for diabetes, high blood pressure and an early grave. I began a regiment of food moderation, eliminating harmful food from my diet and exercise. It hurt like hell but I knew it had to be done. I  was only the elliptical for 3 months straight and blew through 35 lbs. Then the month of April came, I got really sick and my daily routine of exercise went down to 3 days a week. Then I began INSANITY. In the month since, I have dropped my weight down to 195 lbs in just 5 months!.

My second "awakening" was much more disturbing.

It took my father's death to realize that while I was succeeding in my professional life, I was failing horribly in my personal life. I was not spending nearly enough time with my sons and I was nothing more than a roommate with my wife. This epiphany has caused me to reevaluate what is important in my life. I have enrolled in therapy and I spend every day trying to make up for all the mistakes I have made in my marriage and I am working to spend as much time as possible with my sons. My wife and children are my world and I cannot imagine my life without them. I know it will take time, but the process has begun...

That's enough for now... I will have more random thoughts later. Now off to do something I haven't done in a long time... It's time for a run!

Skelly...