I Against I

Right here is where the end gon' start at, conflict, contact 'n' combat, fighters stand where the land is marked at, settle the dispute about who the livest, 3 word answer, Whoever survive this,

- Mos Def

The battle I have been having in my own mind has been epic. I struggle daily with so many things. My body, my self image, my relationships, and my future.

I definitely have struggled with my training. I have incorporated cycling for the 1st time in many years. I love the freedom of being on the road and the feeling that burn. The trade off is that when I stand in front of a TV watching Shaun T and the INSANITY program, it just doesn't motivate me. I know the workout will be challenging but it pales in the feeling of the wind whipping by and the change of scenery. On top of all of that, I have had SOOOO many cravings for unhealthy foods. It's a strange ordeal I have been through.

I know that almost 6 months ago, I was the most unhealthy I have ever been. Weighing nearly 250 lbs, I had to make a change. Between the Elliptical, portion control, and INSANITY, I managed to drop to 193 lbs as of today. SO why don't I fee like I have changed much? I know I have, I have the results. I know I need keep a positive mental attitude, but it is a daily battle...

More later... I'm sure I'll have a rant for the world to laugh at.